黑料福利网

Through a job-coaching program, I began exploring how I could make that happen. That's how I discovered the role of confidential advisor. I've now been doing this work for over two years, and I genuinely love it.

In this role, I'm struck time and again by how different people are. Every person who comes to me brings their own story, and I learn something from each conversation. At the same time, I see how hard it is for many people to speak up when something isn't right. As a result, conversations are often delayed until tensions have built up, while talking things through earlier could have helped a lot.

One common misconception is that a confidential advisor tells you what to do. People sometimes want to know what I would do in their situation, but that's not my role. I help people explore their options, so they can decide for themselves which step feels right for them.

What I value most are the people who come to me. For many of them, sharing their story with someone they don't know is a big step. Sometimes, even in a first conversation, you can see the tension ease or notice that someone feels a little more room to breathe again. Seeing someone move forward because of that conversation never gets old. Sometimes just listening is enough to give someone strength or hope.

It went on for months. During that time, I had several conversations with a confidential advisor. Those conversations helped me enormously. I could tell my story, felt heard, and found the mental space to think clearly again about how I wanted to handle the situation myself.

In the end, I decided to leave that company. That experience made me realize how powerless you can feel when you end up in a situation like that. That's exactly why I want to be there for others now. I want to offer a listening ear to people who no longer know what to do with a situation, without judgment and without any immediate consequences attached to it.

Employees and students can come to us when they experience unwanted behavior, such as harassment, bullying, discrimination, aggression, or violence, as well as integrity-related issues. I often see that people only reach out once a situation has already escalated. That's understandable, but I also want people to know that they're welcome to come to us earlier. Sometimes it helps to talk through a situation together before it goes any further.

A common misconception is that confidential advisors take action themselves. That's not our role. Conversations are confidential, and the person who reaches out stays in control. We listen, think things through together, and help someone map out their options.

What I find most valuable about this work is being able to help people at a moment when they need it. Maybe I can be just the push in the right direction that someone needs. I'm proud that I've been able to turn my own experience into something positive. And I'm proud of our team of confidential advisors, who are always there for our community and for each other. I know from personal experience how important it is to feel heard.

鈥淚 saw how valuable that role can be, not only for the individual, but also for an organization. When 黑料福利网 later began seeking additional confidential advisors, I became curious about the possibility of becoming one myself.鈥�

鈥淧eople at 黑料福利网 can come to me if they experience undesirable behavior such as bullying, intimidation, or harassment, or if they have questions about integrity. You can also reach out if you are in a difficult situation but are unsure how to label it. We then talk it through together and explore what might be possible. The key is that the person always remains in control of the steps they want to take.鈥�

鈥淧eople who are accused of undesirable behavior can also contact us for a conversation or support. In addition, supervisors or other guiding staff can reach out for advice on how to deal with a social safety or integrity issue within their team or with their students.鈥�

鈥淢y experiences so far have been positive. These are often sensitive topics, which can be heavy at times, but I am grateful when people trust me enough to share their story.鈥�

鈥淎 common misconception is that contacting a confidential advisor is the same as submitting a formal report. That is not the case. We are there to listen, think along, and ask questions that help someone decide what feels like the best next step. We do not take action on anyone鈥檚 behalf or give instructions.鈥�

鈥淚 find it valuable when someone feels heard and supported during a difficult period. Being able to offer support to someone makes this role feel meaningful.鈥�

I strongly believe that when you feel good about yourself, you perform better. It gives me satisfaction to contribute to that.鈥�

鈥淚 like listening to people, asking questions that help them reflect, and supporting them in finding suitable next steps. It makes me happy when someone is able to take a step forward or grow through that process.鈥�

Surprised

鈥淚n my first experiences as a confidential advisor, I see how valuable it is that people have a place to share their story. At the same time, I am sometimes surprised by what is going on within 黑料福利网. Because of hierarchical structures, situations can remain under the surface for longer. People do share their stories, but things do not always change. That can leave you feeling powerless.鈥�

鈥淎s confidential advisors, we can share signals and general advice with management, but never in a traceable way. That is necessary because of confidentiality, but it also means you do not always see immediate results.鈥�

鈥淎 common misunderstanding is that we solve problems or take action. We do not. We help explore options, ranging from doing nothing to making a formal report, and everything in between. The control always stays with the person who comes forward.鈥�

鈥淲hat I find most valuable is when someone sees new options through the conversation or gets out of a fixed way of thinking. When someone can tell their story and feels supported, that really makes a difference to me. Being able to contribute to a safer environment, also beyond my work at ESA, makes me happy.鈥�

In 2022, I co-founded ACM SIGSOFT CARES, a committee that offers support to people who face discrimination, harassment, or other ethical violations during scientific conferences. In that role, I have seen that there is often more going on than meets the eye. That is exactly why I think it's important that people have somewhere they can go to share their story.鈥�

鈥淎s a confidential advisor, I want to contribute to an environment where employees and students feel safe and can be themselves. I listen to people who experience something unpleasant or difficult, and I think with them about what they need to move forward. That can range from simply having a conversation to exploring possible next steps.鈥�

鈥淚 have received messages from people who, after a conversation, took steps that helped improve their situation. At the same time, I see that power dynamics often play a role in unwanted behavior. People in leadership positions are not always sufficiently aware of this.鈥�

鈥淎 common misunderstanding is that confidential advisors solve problems or tell people what to do. The English title confidential advisor can also create that impression. In reality, we listen, ask questions, and think along about possible next steps. The control always stays with the person who reaches out to us.鈥�

鈥淲hat I find most valuable in this work is that I can sometimes make a small difference for someone who is going through a difficult time. A conversation does not always solve everything, but if it gives someone more space, clarity, or relief, that already means a lot to me.鈥�

Whether on a bus in Mexico City, in a hostel in Tokyo, or during a hike in Australia: people would open up simply because I was listening.鈥�

鈥淎t 黑料福利网, I had a few similar experiences, which were one of the reasons I decided to apply for the confidential advisor role. I liked the idea of supporting others by listening and helping them find their own way forward.鈥�

鈥淚 often encourage people to reach out early, even if they are unsure whether what they are experiencing is serious enough. It is usually easier to think clearly when things are still manageable, rather than when emotions have already built up.鈥�

鈥淭his role has been a steep learning curve, in the best sense. Every situation is different, and every person is unique. Although we work with the same guidelines, I always adjust my approach to the individual. It has been a very engaging and rewarding experience so far.鈥�

鈥淲hat I have learned is that my role is not to take over, but to create space. To listen, ask questions, and help someone see their own situation more clearly. No confidential advisor should underestimate the power of their words because that is where our strength lies. These conversations often show how much impact a single sentence can have. People often already know more than they think; sometimes they just need a moment to put it into words.鈥�

鈥淚 feel proud that I can be there for others. Sometimes even a small conversation, or a single word, can have a real impact. I also see every conversation as a moment to learn and reflect. It helps me grow, and I am grateful for the trust people place in me.鈥�

Through my work and my personal development, I've experienced how much of a difference that can make. Attention and connection can truly set things in motion, especially when someone feels stuck.

In my first experiences as a confidential advisor, I see above all how valuable it is for people to be able to tell their story to someone who is independent and listens without judgment. Often, the right questions alone can help someone see a situation differently. That can create room to think things through again, especially when everything seems to have come to a standstill.

Something else I see often is that people wonder whether their situation is 'serious enough' to reach out. While a conversation can be exactly what helps bring clarity. Sometimes just being able to share your story is already a relief.

A common misconception is that we, as confidential advisors, solve problems. We don't. You always stay in control. I think things through with you, help you see your options, and help you get a clearer picture of your situation.

What I find most valuable is that sometimes a lot can shift simply because someone feels heard. Just truly listening can make a difference. Being able to play a role in that is what makes me proud of this work.

As of 1 February 2026, he started as a confidential advisor at 黑料福利网. Before that, he served as chair and member of the Departmental Council of Electrical Engineering, where he gained insight into how decisions are made within a department and how governance works in practice.

鈥淚鈥檝e seen too many people suffer in silence. Over the years, students and colleagues have come to me with situations that made them feel small, unsafe, or humiliated. I could listen, but I often felt I couldn鈥檛 truly help them navigate the system. That stayed with me.鈥�

Missing piece

鈥淲hen I learned more about the role of confidential advisors, it felt like a missing piece. This is exactly what I wished I could have offered those people who trusted me with their stories. So I decided to take it seriously, followed the training, passed the exams, and became certified through the Landelijke Vereniging van Vertrouwenspersonen (LVV). For me, this is not a side role, but a responsibility.鈥�

鈥淧eople can come to me for anything that makes them feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or unsure. That can be bullying, intimidation, discrimination, or harassment, but also more subtle situations like exclusion or an unhealthy power imbalance. You don鈥檛 even need to label it. If something feels wrong, it matters.鈥�

鈥淢y role is to listen, without judging, investigating, or taking over. I help people explore what options they have, if any, and what steps might fit their situation. Everything stays confidential, and the person always remains in control.鈥�

鈥淲hat I value most is the human connection, when someone feels safe enough to speak openly. I am proud that I took the step into this role, and I am also proud to be part of a team that shares the same commitment to a safe academic environment.鈥�

Always confidential

鈥淥ne more thing I want to add: I am also a professor at 黑料福利网. I am part of this community, with the same pressures and responsibilities as others. When I act as a confidential advisor, I fully switch roles. In that role, my priority is always confidentiality, respect, and neutrality.鈥�

鈥淚f you are unsure whether to reach out, just send a short email saying 鈥楥an we talk?鈥� That is enough. You don鈥檛 have to figure it out alone.鈥�

Unwanted behavior is unwanted because someone experiences it that way. It's never about intent, but about how it is received. People often don't realize that their behavior is being experienced as unwanted.

She is also a conversation partner when there's doubt. If you notice, for example, that safety protocols aren't being followed in a lab, you might have a feeling that something isn't right, without wanting to accuse anyone right away. That kind of situation can also be discussed with us in confidence.

A hybrid model

In her work, she sees little difference in approach between internal and external confidential advisors. The way we work is exactly the same. The difference is mainly in position. As an external confidential advisor, you're not employed by 黑料福利网, but brought in as an outside party. You know the organization and its culture, but you're just a little further removed from it. For some people, that can actually feel reassuring.

In other situations, someone may prefer to speak with an internal confidential advisor because they know the organization just a little better. A hybrid model, with both internal and external confidential advisors, has always been my preference. I'm very happy that 黑料福利网 has chosen this model!

Listening without judgment

A common misconception is that confidential advisors solve problems. We don't. We look together at what options are available and how someone can deal with a situation. Sometimes at the start of a conversation someone says: 'If I understand correctly, you can't really do anything for me.' But after an hour and a half, it often sounds different. It turns out to be valuable after all.

Because sometimes saying something out loud is already enough. We don't judge. We just listen, like a sponge. The person who comes to us always stays in control. I believe in people's strength and resilience, even when they're in a really dark place. Often they already know what step they could take, but actually taking that step is hard. Together we look at what's needed to make that possible.

Nieboer is glad that social safety within 黑料福利网 is getting more and more attention. In a complex organization like a university with a lot of hierarchy, it's so important that there are places where you can speak freely.

A stronger team

The number of confidential advisors has grown significantly over the past year, with ten now serving the university. Nieboer trained the new group of 黑料福利网 confidential advisors. When I first started at 黑料福利网, we were mostly reacting to acute situations. There was little room for the other responsibilities of confidential advisors, such as prevention, informing and supporting the organization, and offering solicited and unsolicited advice to leadership and management. That space is now growing.

The expansion of the team has created a stronger foundation. We'll be using that to build our visibility and accessibility within 黑料福利网. That's important, because people need to know where they can turn. We're heading in the right direction, but there's still a lot to do. I won't be getting bored anytime soon.

I bring that experience to my work as a confidential advisor. It helps me quickly understand someone's position and how vulnerable that position can be. At the same time, I also look at the broader context, including the perspectives of managers and teams navigating difficult situations.

For me, it's important that there is a place where people can tell their story without being judged. A safe and confidential environment where you can talk about what's going on and explore together what steps might be possible. That can range from doing nothing to filing a formal report, and anything in between.

A different perspective

As an external confidential advisor, he works independently from the university. That means I'm not on 黑料福利网's payroll and I have no hierarchical position within the organization. That independence helps me look at things from a distance, though it sometimes also requires asking more questions to fully understand the context and informal dynamics.

People sometimes think that contacting a confidential advisor automatically leads to a formal report. That's not the case. The conversation is meant to explore what's going on at an early stage and to prevent situations from escalating. In many cases, that brings calm and clarity.

What makes me proud is when someone feels heard and regains a sense of overview. Sometimes that's already enough to move forward, or to consciously choose to do nothing. That moment, however small, is what makes this work worthwhile.

Taking steps

What I see so far is that 黑料福利网 is taking steps to strengthen its integrity system. There are clear frameworks and policies in place, but the real challenge lies in day-to-day practice: how people engage with them and whether there is room to speak up when that's needed.

I hope the university remains a place where people feel safe to speak up, even when that feels uncomfortable. And that issues are addressed early, so that trust doesn't get damaged unnecessarily.